We’ll Always Have ‘Evening in Paris!’

By Tom Morrow

Sunday is Mother’s Day and how many of us recall her words of guidance:
“Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?”
“If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.”
“You better pray that will come out of the carpet.”
“If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week!” And, the one we all remember: “Make sure you wear clean underwear — in case you’re in an accident.”
MOM’S GIFT – When I was a youngster every Mother’s Day I’d take my 50-cent allowance to the drug store to buy a gift. I would always get a bottle of “Evening in Paris” perfume. Awful stuff, but of course I didn’t know it – it was the only thing you could buy for 50 cents.
Years later, after Mom passed away, my sister and I were going through her things (she never threw anything away), we found a box filled with “Evening in Paris.”
As bad as it smelled, I think you can still buy it – of course not for 50 cents. Kids, don’t pay more than a buck – it’s bad smelling stuff.
SCAG SEZ – The only person who doesn’t think the fat man is funny is the fat man himself – Cecil Scaglione, Mature Life Features
WILL ROGERS – “There are two theories to arguing with a woman – neither works.”
FIND ‘UM – You can order any of my novels online at Amazon.com. For a list on line go to: www.Amazon.com, just look for my name.
Humorous or human-interest stories or notes for my osidenews.com column can be forwarded via e-mail to me at: quotetaker@msn.com